Years ago, when I was just an innocent lamb in college, party girls knew they could get their mojo going with a couple of shots. Apparently now it's even more true - but instead of a tequila shot poured down their throat, more and more women are choosing a G-Shot injected right up the yin-yang.
Okay, perhaps I'm putting that a bit indelicately, and not giving the procedure its due.
So let me rephrase that a bit.
Recently invented by an "aesthetic gynecologist" in Los Angeles (where else?), the G-Shot consists of a bit of collagen injected into the G-spot in order to increase its size and enhance sexual pleasure.
(I'm sorry. I can't do this without shivering. The idea of needles being poked into my most sensitive bits gives me the creeps.)
G-Whiz
First a word about the G-spot. Although humans have been procreating for many thousands of years, we had to wait until the 1950's to learn we might have been missing something between the sheets, and until the 80's before it had even had a name.
The term "G-spot" was coined by a mysterious the illustrious Frank Addiego in honor of German gynecologist Dr. Ernst Gräfenberg, who first theorized the existence of the magic spot in the 1950's. No word on whether or not there was a smiling Mrs. Dr. Gräfenberg at the time.
Since its "discovery," there has been controversy in medical circles over whether or not the G-spot actually exists. No large-scale clinical studies have ever been done, and the remaining smaller studies have turned up limited or questionable results. In my own survey of seven female friends, four said no, they've never found it, two said yes, and one said maybe.
In any case, despite professional skepticism, there has been wide-spread public acceptance of the existence of the G-spot as reality, and most popular books on sexuality include information on how to find it and what to do with it.
The spot for the Spot is generally described as behind the pubic bone, and accessible through the anterior wall of the vagina. When stimulated during sexual activity, it supposedly leads to high levels of sexual arousal and industrial-strength orgasms.
According to Dr. Beverly Whipple, a sexuality scholar at Rutgers University and perhaps the world's most prominent G-spot expert, the small area cannot be accessed unless the woman is in a state of arousal. When a woman is excited, the G-spot tissue actually palpitates, making it accessible to further stimulation.
But for some women, the G-spot is just too darn small. Enter Dr. David Matlock, the inventor of the G-shot. (Hm, is it creepy to use the verb "enter" in this context?)
Dr Matlock invented and trademarked the collagen G-Shot in 2005, and until early this year, performed each and every G-Shot injection himself at his Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation Institute on Sunset Boulevard. He now ships his trademarked G-Shot kits to medical associates across the country, who are marketing the procedure to their patients as well. The G-Shot kits include a 30-minute instructional video, the FDA-approved collagen dosages and brochures that hail the procedure as a "revolutionary scientific breakthrough." It should be noted that although the collagen itself is FDA-approved, this particular use of it is not, and is termed "off-label."
Hit Me With Your Best Shot
So here's how it works. In theory. Before your procedure, you first go into an exam room alone and perform a "self examination" (not spiritual, but physical) based on the doctor's instructions to locate your own G-Spot. According to Dr. Matlock, arousal is not necessary - you simply need to be "in tune" with your sensations. Once you've located the G-spot, you will be positioned on the exam table (in the usual stirrup position) and the doctor will do a pelvic exam and measurement of the G-Spot based upon your direction. He transfers this measurement to a ruler and then to a special speculum. The speculum, which has the location of the G-Spot on it, will then be inserted into the vagina and needle will be used to deliver a small amount of local anesthetic in the area of the G-Spot. Then the collagen product will be injected. It's all over in a matter of minutes. After the procedure, a tampon is inserted and kept in place for 4 hours. There is no recovery time, and you can resume normal sexual activity within 4 hours. Of course if things seem too good to be true, they generally are. Results are not guaranteed, and are temporary. After every 4 months or so of ecstasy, you'll need a repeat injection - at approximately $1850 a pop.
Does it work?
As with many things G-Spot-ish, it depends on who you talk to. Dr. Matlock says his research shows an 85 percent success rate, but he refused to share the study, and it was a sample of only 20 patients. It would be hard to call the study definitive, as he simply asked patients, "Did it work or did it not?"
Some doctors think the only way to get conclusive results would be with a "double-blind" study where some patients are injected with collagen, while others get simply water. But Matlock believes a double-blind study would be ineffective for the G-Shot, as subjects could feel the collagen bump, while a water-based injection would merely dissolve.
Does it matter?
But equally with many things G-spot-ish, if you THINK you're feeling it, you're feeling it. If the injection makes you want more sex, or become more easily aroused, who cares if it really works or not? So much of our sexual response has to do with what's going on in our brain rather than in our pants anyway. Although more and more people are electing cosmetic procedures to enhance their appearance, I often think it's the way they subsequently feel about themselves INSIDE that makes the biggest difference. Of course this is WAY inside. But it's not the only private parts procedure gaining in popularity.
In 2005, the first year the American Society of Plastic Surgeons kept statistics on vaginal alterations, 79 women had work performed on their genitals. In 2006, the number rose to 1,030. In addition to the G-Shot, Dr. Matlock performs a veritable cornucopia of genital procedures at his Institute. Beyond simply "vaginal rejuvenation" (the vagina of a 17-year-old!), Matlock offers a variety of "designer vaginoplasty" procedures including sculpting of the labia, removal of excess skin around the clitoris and even removal of hyperpigmented labial skin.
I'll be honest. I actually had no idea there was an aesthetic ideal for my privates. What's next? I'll find out I have an unattractive spleen?
Where should the desire for perfection end? At one point do we simply accept ourselves the way we are, and learn to love what we've got? I guess as long as medical technology continues to serve up easy solutions, the answer is never. Where there is a need, a procedure will follow - or in some cases create the need, I suppose.
However, let me say the best sexual enhancer I have found to date is not toys, drugs or surgical procedures. It's finally being in a solid relationship. But that's just me...